i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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