i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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