Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
