I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
