Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we made out on top of his cat.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
