I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
they need to just BURY HIM!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
