Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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