i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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