I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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