I smell stomach acid.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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