The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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