discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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