we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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