i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
