His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
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Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up