ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.