My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
