'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
