I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
