In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
my liver is dry heaving
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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