i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
