Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
