Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just cropdusted the office
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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