ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
