I think my fart just growled at me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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