I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize