feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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