I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
