Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize