ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
