What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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