The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
