i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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