i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
