2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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