I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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