I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize