My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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