I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
