there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
