i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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