hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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