if you like me you must not know who I am
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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