I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
