I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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