Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
