i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
