I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
