Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
