Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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