Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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