you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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