Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What a dumb baby whore.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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