I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
