I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
