Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
