On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
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i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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