I can tuck mytits in my pants
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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