Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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