i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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