We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize