just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
